A Price Worth Paying
by potterlockedintheshire
Summary: If you were as fearless as Dallas, you'd have the guts to say what you thought. Then again, someone as fearless as Dally would never need to tell someone that they admired them, trusted them, looked up to them, because Dallas doesn't feel that way about anyone.


_Author's Note__: If you've read some of my other work, you probably can tell that I am fascinated by the relationship between Dally and Johnny. I also find mentorship and admiration intriguing, and I decided that this fic would be a good way to show the bond between the two characters. (Just to be clear, I do NOT intend this to be interpreted as slash, although I suppose if you decide to look at it that way, there's nothing I can do to stop you. I, however, feel that this is an incorrect interpretation of both this fic and of the Canon work.) _

_I have never before written a fic in second person, but I've wanted to try it for a while, and when I got the idea for this story, it seemed like it would be a good opportunity to try it._

_Disclaimer__: I really wish I had written something as wonderful and brilliant as The Outsiders, but unfortunately, I'm not S.E. Hinton, just someone who greatly admires her work and is in love with her character, Dallas._

_**Johnny (2**__**nd**__** Person):**_

You look at him for the millionth time, trying to figure out what it is that everyone else sees about Dallas Winston that you don't. You know, of course, that he's been to jail, that he's dangerous when he wants to be, that he's lived in a part of New York that's far less tame than Oklahoma. How could you not know these things, given that you've looked up to him for years?

You know all this, and so does everyone else who's met Dally. Why, then, are you the only one who admires him? You've never quite understood that, really. But you're different from the others and you know it, so maybe it makes sense that you're the only one who sees this.

Dallas is different, too, but not in the way that you know you are. Dally's special, he stands out from everyone else. He's not a coward, he's probably as far from it as it's possible to be. At least, that's what you think. He's brave and fearless, and that's the way that you wish you were.

He's smart, too, smarter than most people think he is. Maybe he's not book-smart, but he's got more street-smarts than anyone else you know. He'd have to be, to have survived jail as many times as he has.

Of course, Dally's tough. He just wouldn't be _Dallas Winston _if he wasn't. You respect that toughness, of course, but you know that's not all there is to him. You can tell by looking in his icy blue eyes, sometimes angry and bitter, other times filled with the love and caring that you know he would never dare to speak out loud, because he wouldn't be _Dallas Winston _if he did.

It's on those days, where his eyes are warm instead of chilling, that you come close sometimes. Come close to telling everything to him about how much you admire him and respect him. How much you look up to him and want to be like him. You come so close, so often. And then, you look at him again, and even though his eyes lack their usual hatred of everything, you know he's still Dallas Winston no matter what his eyes may look like today, and you think about how stupid you'll feel if you ever do manage to tell him how much his friendship means to you.

You know how un-tuff it'll seem, almost wimpy, probably, to rely on someone else. So you don't say anything about it to him, ironically backing down to prove that you're not weak. You're not really sure who you're trying to show that to after a while, Dallas or yourself.

You know you need Dally, you know he's your role model and even if you don't want to follow exactly in his footsteps, you still wish you could be like him. You wonder occasionally if he knows how great he is. You hope he does, it'd be a shame for someone like Dally to not know how special they are. Then again, how can he really know if you've never told him?

Dally would never be that weak, needing somebody so much. You wish, for the hundredth time, that you didn't have all the weaknesses that the person you hero-worship lacks. If you were as fearless as Dallas Winston, you'd have the guts to say what you thought. Then again, someone as fearless as Dally would never need to tell someone that they admired them, trusted them, looked up to them, because Dallas Winston doesn't feel that way about anyone.

He's independent, and as good of a friend as he may be, he won't rely on someone else like you rely on him. No, that won't ever be a problem for Dally, you're almost sure of it. I need Dally, my mentor, practically an older brother, but he's _Dallas Winston. _And really, I guess that's got to be one of the reasons that he's so special. He's got a shield around him, separating himself from everyone else.

He's not an outsider, but he's different. No one can get through his defenses. He's got walls around himself, and perhaps that's the smart thing to do. You know that Dally's safe from the worries of caring about anyone, because he's _Dallas Winston, _and he may be your mentor without even knowing it, but he's hard and tough, and he can take anything. Maybe he's like a brother to you, but his self-security will always be impenetrable. Nothing can hurt Dally, because he's learned to close himself off in a way that you haven't. But Dally is smarter, and you know it. You don't know how long he's been that way. Maybe it was since he'd been in jail. Maybe he'd been like that since moving to Tulsa. Perhaps he was born that way, cold and distant. But however it happened, it was a smart thing to do. You know that Dally's smart to distance himself, because Dallas is not weak like you are. Dally's smart enough to have kept himself from getting too attached to anyone. He's said before that as long as you don't have anything that can be used against you, you don't get hurt. So he doesn't. Dally is smart enough not to become close to anyone. And, although it makes you wonder sometimes, he's Dally, and Dallas Winston knows best. So you don't ever question it, because, of course, he has to be right.

Sometimes it just makes you feel worse about looking up to him because you know that he would say it's a stupid thing to do. It probably is, but it isn't anything you can help. So you just keep admiring him anyways, with his stupid bright blue eyes that often make you feel so feeble compared to him, and his bitter grin that tells you his years of not caring are the only things protecting him from feeling hopeless at whatever situation he's in at the time. So you know he's smarter than you, you know he's better than you'll ever be, and you know that you, Johnny Cade, can't really be anything compared to Dallas Winston. And you know that maybe you're the only one who sees it, sees him, that way. But he's your idol, not theirs, so why does it matter? Perhaps it's a weakness, but you can't help but admire him. It may be a weakness, but if the price of being weak is getting to have Dallas Winston as your mentor, it's one you'll gladly pay.

_Author's Note: Well, what did you think? Please review, I'd really appreciate it!_


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